Math Jokes

Discussion in 'PHYSICS & MATHEMATICS' started by Javadog, Dec 4, 2012.

  1. Javadog

    Javadog Moderator Moderator Mushroom Doctor Cannabis Doctor

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Messages:
    3,510
    Hello all,

    I think that this is a repost for me, but I am wanting math jokes in part because
    I do not have many.

    Ok, here we go.

    Two probabilists are invited to a seminar in another country.

    One asks the other if he would like to fly together.

    His colleague replies "No, I have computed the probability of a bomb being on the
    plane and it is too high. I have decided to take the bus."

    So, the day of the flight comes and as the first probabilist is boarding the plane he sees
    his colleague sitting in a seat.

    He asks his colleague "Why are you here? I thought that the probability of a bomb
    being on the plane was too high?"

    His colleague replies, "Well, I calculated the probability of two bombs being on the plane,
    and this number is acceptably low. So now I just travel with my own bomb."

    Ba Dum Chhhh!
     
  2. Professor PinHead

    Professor PinHead Lost in the Tek.... Administrator Mushroom Doctor Cannabis Doctor Supporter

    Joined:
    May 27, 2011
    Messages:
    9,167
    Location:
    A Rhizomorphic Space
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]



    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2012
  3. Javadog

    Javadog Moderator Moderator Mushroom Doctor Cannabis Doctor

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Messages:
    3,510
    I love that first one...seen it before, but now it is in the archive.

    The pi one was new and *excellent*.

    Heck, they were all cool.

    Thanks!

    JD

    P.S.

    Q: Why did the topologist's marriage fail?
    A: Because he thought that arbitrary unions were open.
     
  4. Jeff

    Jeff Well-Known Member Moderator Mushroom Doctor Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2011
    Messages:
    5,141
    Location:
    Here
    [​IMG]

    That one is a classic prof.
     
  5. Javadog

    Javadog Moderator Moderator Mushroom Doctor Cannabis Doctor

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Messages:
    3,510
    It really is.

    The "here it is" one is cute. That one is cute, and mathematical a little.

    ...much smarter than this one:
    JYf4Avz3yEmaWCEM6kcPww2.jpg

    Take care,

    JD
     
  6. Professor PinHead

    Professor PinHead Lost in the Tek.... Administrator Mushroom Doctor Cannabis Doctor Supporter

    Joined:
    May 27, 2011
    Messages:
    9,167
    Location:
    A Rhizomorphic Space
    Yea, the first one had me laughing pretty hard. I got a good kick out of it. :)
     
  7. terk

    terk New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2012
    Messages:
    6
    Location:
    canada aka chinada
    how do you catch a hippo?
    with a hippopotanuse

    first post :)
     
  8. Jeff

    Jeff Well-Known Member Moderator Mushroom Doctor Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2011
    Messages:
    5,141
    Location:
    Here
    Welcome terk! :thumbup1:
     
  9. Terry M

    Terry M Member Mushroom Doctor

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    282
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantatio
    Doh! I'd seen this one before, but never realized that the sum was correct! :facepalm:
     
  10. Javadog

    Javadog Moderator Moderator Mushroom Doctor Cannabis Doctor

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Messages:
    3,510
    LOL.

    I got a laugh out of the one with "MATH" written in the Tip line as well.

    :0)

    Take care all, and Welcome Aboard terk!

    JD
     
  11. Professor PinHead

    Professor PinHead Lost in the Tek.... Administrator Mushroom Doctor Cannabis Doctor Supporter

    Joined:
    May 27, 2011
    Messages:
    9,167
    Location:
    A Rhizomorphic Space
    That is a good one :)
     
  12. TheDeathryder

    TheDeathryder Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2012
    Messages:
    592
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Texas
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     

    Attached Files:

  13. Javadog

    Javadog Moderator Moderator Mushroom Doctor Cannabis Doctor

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Messages:
    3,510
    Nice!

    Thanks for taking the time.

    JD
     
  14. TheDeathryder

    TheDeathryder Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2012
    Messages:
    592
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Texas
  15. BigGym

    BigGym New Member Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2013
    Messages:
    947
    Location:
    Folsom
    I once knew a 1 that was like, he talked to a two at a bar, and like the 2 wasn't having it....so, I guess that's a minus joke?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rST04LvIMg
    ..course I once hung out at my bro's college and I met this 10, who's second power came up dividing all kinds of shit, and not too much multiplied..... but something definatly got divided :giggity:

    ...tip your waitress, IM OUT~!!1

    fkaedit..
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2013
  16. BigGym

    BigGym New Member Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2013
    Messages:
    947
    Location:
    Folsom
    ^so the reason I said all that up there is, I don't know why. The point is that that no matter what the Ex equates to the denominator decides whether the sum is positive or negative.. and that it does, using 3.14159

    [small] [small] Prof, don't ban me I think I'm on to something dude [/small][/small]

    ...I see [small] doesn't work into this equasion :carveturkey:
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2013
  17. insectocean

    insectocean Stranger Than Fiction Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2013
    Messages:
    99
    Location:
    WI, USA
    What did the constipated mathematician do?
     
  18. Javadog

    Javadog Moderator Moderator Mushroom Doctor Cannabis Doctor

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Messages:
    3,510
    X^lax ?
     
  19. insectocean

    insectocean Stranger Than Fiction Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2013
    Messages:
    99
    Location:
    WI, USA
    No, he worked it out with a pencil :jeez:

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2013